


the boy[s] i’ve loved

by jseos



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Boys In Love, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before, M/M, Multi, Pining, seongsang, wooyoung and yeosang are step brothers btw.... no reason it’s just cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 09:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22397254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jseos/pseuds/jseos
Summary: yeosang gets a lot of crusheshe writes letters to those crushes never intending on sending themwooyoung is his step brother and is a goddamn menacewhen wooyoung sends yeosang’s letters to his old crushes in an attempt to ‘help’ him finally get a boyfriend, he ends up fake-dating seonghwa, literally the coolest boy in school, his first kiss and now his crushinspired by ‘to all the boys i’ve loved before’
Relationships: Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa, bg woosan, jongho and yunho wanna date, no one else is really coupled up yet but hongjoong and mingi are crushing
Comments: 10
Kudos: 138





	1. would you be so kind

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i’ve been wanting to write this for a while and i’m so excited to finally start it!
> 
> i love seongsang and i love this movie ;; pls enjoy
> 
> also no i will never write with capital letters it’s for the aesthetic

yeosang gets crushes easily. like, really easily. it can't be helped, really, he's an 18 year boy surrounded by other pretty boys constantly - so sue him if he has a couple of small crushes on them. it's not like they last anyway - just small and insignificant infatuations that he knows aren't serious.

so thats why he writes letters. he'll never send them, never let anyone know about them except for wooyoung, which really can't be helped whenever wooyoung is the nosiest step-brother ever, so he never worries about the letters - of which there are six so far.

choi san, one of yeosang's first crushes before san ended up dating wooyoung, and he's honestly not bothered. now that san's one of his closest friends, he doesn't think he could ever date him, he doesn't have enough patience.

kim hongjoong, who does in fact know yeosang wrote about him in a letter in his diary and found it fucking adorable at the time, and he still teases yeosang about it now even though yeosang has long since lost interest in him.

jung hoseok, one of his old classmates from his old school, who he hasn't seen in years and who he's pretty sure would never recognise him now if they ever met.

lee felix, the cute australian boy that he met at a summer camp once that he still keeps in contact with and absolutely destroys in overwatch.

christopher chan, another boy he met at summer camp who also, of course, is australian while he was being tugged around a campfire by felix. now him and felix are dating and yeosang might never shut up about how cute it is.

and then there's park seonghwa. yeosang's first real kiss. (technically wooyoung was his first kiss before they were related, but they were playing husband and wife so they don't really count it.) him and seonghwa kissed once when he was 16 on a dumb dare, in the middle of a forest while they were all definitely too young to be drinking but did anyway. now he's one of the most popular boys in school, and though he still waves at yeosang in the halls and likes all of his instagram pictures, yeosang is sure he's now way out of his league.

so yeah - the letters aren't anything to worry about, because no one will ever find them.

that's what yeosang thinks. until he suddenly can't find them.

so now, while he's on the verge of a full meltdown, a sheepish wooyoung creeps into his room and asks if he can talk.

"you need to promise you won't freak out, okay?" wooyoung says, and yeosang doesn't see why he'd freak out so he just nods.

wooyoung gulps. "i sent them."

silence. pure fucking silence while yeosang's brain is a millisecond away from exploding.

"you what?"

"i... sent them? the letters?"

"i heard you. can i just ask, why the _fuck_ would you send them?"

"because! all you do is lay around and wish for a boyfriend, and i know all of the boys you've liked, so i sent them to try and get you out there and maybe you'd finally talk to some of them and actually go on a date and-"

yeosang stops him with a deep breath.

"wooyoung, you know you're my favourite step brother-ever?"

"i'm your only step-brother."

"you know i love you, and would never hurt you, yeah?"

"...yeah?"

"remember that, because i am going to fucking _kill_ you."

wooyoung runs, screeching at the top of his lungs while yeosang sprints after him, and he thinks that if he catches him he might actually choke him.

//

it takes all of 45 minutes for everything to calm down, wooyoung and yeosang sitting on opposite ends of the sofa while yeosang tries not to cry.

"i'm sorry, okay?"

"sorry doesn't help now, wooyoung! i haven't spoken to some of these boys in _years_, i'm friends with some of them now - if they read those i'll be a joke!"

wooyoung sighs, and he genuinely feels guilty - his master romance plan not seeming as smart anymore.

"i know, and i wasn't even thinking of that when i sent them. i just... i don't like seeing you all sad all the time! all of our friends have relationships and i know you're lonely, don't even deny it - you're waiting for someone to come swoop you up like a romance movie! i thought maybe the letters would give you a chance at finding something?"

and now yeosang sighs. because he's still mad, still terrified, but he sees where wooyoung was trying to come from. he knows he's sad, knows that he feels a little bit empty when he sneaks out to house parties and sees all of his friends coupled up and in love. he knows wooyoung is right - but god he wishes wooyoung had tried to help him in any other way than this.

"you were trying to help, i get it. just. those letters were private, some of the boys i wrote to don't even know i'm gay yet and it's just... scary."

yeosang moves across the sofa to sit beside wooyoung, resting his head on his step-brothers shoulder. "sending those was a fucking dick move, woo - but thanks i guess? for trying to help."

"i'm still sorry," wooyoung cracks a smile that yeosang can hear in his voice when he speaks again, "but at least if you finally get a boyfriend you can thank me, huh?"

yeosang snorts and wooyoung gently headbutts him.

he has a million things to think about, but right now all he wants to do is sleep, so he says goodnight to wooyoung and decides he'll deal with it all tomorrow.

//

as it turns out, dealing with it all tomorrow wasn't as easy as yeosang thought it'd be.

san knows all about yeosang's first little crush on him, texts him that morning telling him that he's still not bothered by it and promising to smack wooyoung on his behalf for being nosey and annoying. so san isn't a problem.

he sees hongjoong first, who already knows that his letter must have had something to do with wooyoung, because as the mom of the group he could just 'sense the mischief', whatever the fuck that means.

felix and chan confront him next - and he explains to the best of his ability that he wrote the letters like a year ago and he definitely doesn't feel that way anymore, "no offence" he adds, and they both accept that easily. felix jokes that if yeosang wants to be his second boyfriend all he has to do is ask, and yeosang at least feels a little less stressed while he's giggling as felix and chan poke at his sides. 

he hasn't spoken to hoseok since before he moved, so he has no idea if the boy will even contact yeosang at all. he forces himself to not worry about it and just keeps laughing at felix pretending to flirt with him.

and then the panic sets in when he sees who's walking towards him.

park fucking seonghwa.

"oh _fuck_." he whines, and he doesn't miss the sympathetic look chan gives him or the wink felix gives him whenever seonghwa asks if he can talk to him.

all seonghwa gets out of his mouth is a quiet "so-" before yeosang just starts throwing out word vomit.

"i'm _really_ sorry about that letter, i wrote it ages ago after we had that one kiss at the fire on a dare and yeah i did have a big crush on you then, so i wrote a dumb letter to get over it and i know it's weird but i don't think about you _that way_ anymore - yeah you're still like, the most attractive boy i know but i don't really-"

yeosang shuts up when seonghwa kisses him.

seonghwa pulls back just enough to mumble against his lips, "i'm sorry to just do this, but my ex is right there, and i think i might cry if she comes and talks to me so please, just pretend to kiss me back, okay?"

yeosang nods dumbly and lets seonghwa take the lead.

they both hear a girl who yeosang assumes is seonghwa's ex scoff when she walks past them, and they both breathe a sigh of relief whenever she's out of sight. 

neither of them really know what to do now, both standing awkwardly and nervously watching each other. yeosang ends up speaking first.

"i... i gotta run to class. i'll see you?"

he doesn't wait for an answer before he bolts in the direction of the art classrooms. 

//

neither of them have really had time to think about what that kiss outside the school meant, or what other people thought of it and who even saw it - but now yeosang suddenly wishes he'd thought of that before letting seonghwa kiss him when he sees the text messages that he gets that evening.

joongie 

[6:15pm] YEOSANG

[6:15pm] YOU 

[6:15pm] PARK SEONGHWA??????

sangie

um [6:19pm]

yeah [6:19pm]

[6:19pm]

he kissed me to make his ex fuck off

is that a big deal? [6:20pm]

joongie

[6:21pm] it kinda is

[6:21pm] it's going around that he's your boyfriend now 

[6:21pm] the entire dance class couldn't stop asking if i knew about hwa's cute new boy

sangie

fuck [6:30pm]

yeosang wants to scream, panic setting in his gut about what he's going to do now. 

then his phone rings, and it scares the shit out of him - and he has to take a moment to breathe before answering, an unknown number that he doesn't have saved in his phone.

"hello?"

_ "yeosang? it's seonghwa." _

oh.

"oh. um, hi?"

_ "look, i know that you probably know about everyone thinking that we're together - but i need to talk to you about it." _

"okay," yeosang sighs, "go ahead."

_ "would you be entirely opposed to pretending?" _

yeosang chokes.

"pretending?"

_ "i know! i know it's dumb and probably really bad of me, but this ex won't leave me alone and maybe if she thinks i've moved on she'll leave me alone?" _

"so you just... wanna use me to get rid of your ex?" yeosang scoffs, not liking the idea of just being an excuse to get rid of some girl.

_"no! not entirely..."_ he hears seonghwa clear his throat over the phone, _"hongjoong told me more about the whole letter thing... i know you're probably worried about what people might think, and i thought maybe with a boyfriend people wouldn't bother you about it?"_

and yeosang thinks he has a point. he won't have to feel awkward about anyone other than his friends knowing about the letters - which he's sure have gotten out by now - if he has a boyfriend, if he has someone who he can say he likes, just to prove that the feelings he wrote in the other letters aren't still there.

there's a long silence before yeosang sighs and says "alright, we'll do it."

_"you're sure?"_ seonghwa asks.

"i guess. maybe it'll be nice?"

seonghwa laughs. _"okay. can i pick you up for school tomorrow? if we're gonna date then we need to have like... a believable story. we can talk about it in the car?"_

"sounds great."

_ "okay, i'll pick you up at 8 tomorrow morning. see you, boyfriend." _

both of them laugh.

"whatever," yeosang huffs, "see you at 8, boyfriend."

when the line goes dead, yeosang holds his pillow over his face and screams.

tomorrow is gonna be so fucking weird.

//

seonghwa pulls up outside yeosang's house at exactly 8am, and yeosang shouts a goodbye to wooyoung who doesn't have any class this morning, before hopping into the passenger seat of seonghwa's car.

they exchange awkward hellos before seonghwa starts driving, and once they're on the road is when seonghwa speaks up.

"so... the first thing i wanna ask about is boundaries?"

"boundaries?"

"yeah," seonghwa takes a breath, "like - how couple-y can we be? i want us to be believable, but i want us to be comfortable too. especially you, since you didn't really ask for all this."

and okay, they're gonna be fake dating but if seonghwa keeps being so caring and considerate then maybe yeosang might actually want to marry him - because yeah sure, caring about his comfort is basic human decency, but it's honestly not something he'd expect any other guy to do in this situation with him.

seonghwa speaks up again.

"what kind of couple-y things are you up for? are you okay with hand holding?"

yeosang nods.

"yeah, i hold hands with everyone in my friend group anyway - that's not really a bother for me."

"good," seonghwa smiles at him, "how much kissing are you willing to do? or any?"

"i guess small kisses? y'know, a kiss good morning or a kiss goodbye, but i think i'd be too scared for us to get... handsy in public?"

seonghwa laughs. "understandable."

"are there any nicknames you're okay with me using?"

yeosang is suddenly more embarrassed than he should be - something strangely intimate about letting seonghwa call him pet names - but they're supposed to be boyfriends, so he guesses it isn't unusual for it to feel so intimate.

"i mean, everyone calls me sangie or yeosangie - so that's one." yeosang taps his chin trying to think of anything else that he wouldn't be too awkward to be called in public. "i think i'm fine with you calling me babe? i'm not sure about baby, maybe only when we're with our friends?"

seonghwa nods the whole time, making sure yeosang knows that he's listening.

"what about you?" yeosang asks.

"i'm not really opposed to... anything?" seonghwa hums. "i just like being able to show you off? as long as i can compliment you and give you some attention, i'm happy."

yeosang laughs. 

"you're so lucky that i like attention then."

"really? you seem so..."

"quiet?" yeosang offers.

"yeah. you don't seem like the type to enjoy that kind of attention. i didn't think i'd be allowed to give you that kind of mushy gross attention." seonghwa laughs.

yeosang shrugs. "well, now that you're my boyfriend i guess you get to give it to me whenever you want?"

"i guess so."

//

no one at school seems to make a big deal out of them. they can both feel eyes on them, can hear people occasionally whisper about them - but it's nothing that they can't deal with or ignore.

the first half of the day is uneventful - seonghwa and yeosang not seeing each other until lunch. they walk into the cafeteria hand in hand, already talking about how hungry they are, seonghwa joking that yeosang drinking the can of monster he has in his hand is going to kill him one day and cackling whenever yeosang replies with a "thank god, the sooner the better."

they look believable. 

they look kinda in love, wooyoung thinks, when he sees them both come over to sit at their table. he thinks they really look like a couple, their hands loosely entwined and both of them poking fun at each other.

hongjoong wonders out loud to the table that he thinks that they're too believable to be faking.

the entire table agrees when they see seonghwa spin yeosang around jokingly and lightly push him, both of them obviously finding it hilarious, and seonghwa sliding his hand into the back pocket of yeosang's jeans. 

when the couple reach the table they fumble, suddenly realising that there's less room at the table now that seonghwa sitting with them is going to become a regular thing. sure, they're all friends, but they're more often than not split into different groups so they rarely even sit together as a group. 

seonghwa sits and offers yeosang his lap. he considers it, but decides against it when he decides that perching on the lunch table in front of seonghwa would a. make him look more confident than he is and b. make him taller than seonghwa for at least a lunch period. 

no one else really bats an eye, but seonghwa looks up at him with a raised brow and a laugh.

"you could sit on me, you know? or pull a chair over? like a normal person?"

yeosang shrugs at him.

"he's one of those gays, seonghwa, he can't sit like a normal human being!" jongho teases from behind him, and yeosang leans back to flick the younger boy on the forehead. 

"we've been friends for three years and you're still under the impression that i'm a normal human?" yeosang laughs at him, and they both continue their bickering and giggling - yunho and hongjoong eventually joining in too. mingi just laughs at them, because they're all fucking idiots. everyone erupts into even more bickering when san decides to pipe up - all of them acting like children laughing around their table.

but wooyoung looks at seonghwa, and doesn't at all miss the way he's looking up at yeosang - his eyes focused on his fake boyfriend and a small smile on his face - and wooyoung thinks he looks absolutely fucking whipped.


	2. twilight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hongjoong hosts a party. yeosang looks cute and seonghwa might be a little bit in love?
> 
> and maybe yeosang grinds on seonghwa's thigh - but if he does then you all say nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i've been in a weird headspace recently so i haven't been writing oops
> 
> anyways i feel like i should warn y'all that there's mild nasty stuff this chapter 👀 there is no actual explicit sex, dw - but seonghwa and yeosang make out, sangie gives hwa a blowjob and then grinds on him for a while - but it's not in great detail or anything lmao we're not that far yet
> 
> (there are a couple of parts where it says "now playing", and those are just songs in my playlist for this fic but also they're songs that are either playing in the scene or that just go with the scene, so i recommend listening to them while u read whenever they show up!)
> 
> anyways pls enjoy!

day 1 of being seonghwa’s boyfriend has went well, yeosang thinks. he’s enjoying the attention, enjoying the congratulations and especially enjoying the moments he sees seonghwa’s ex huff at them from across the room. 

call him petty, but he figures that if soyeon is as bad as seonghwa told him, then he doesn’t really feel bad at all when he makes her jealous. 

he definitely doesn’t feel bad when he feels seonghwa tighten his hold on his waist when soyeon walks by, or when he knows seonghwa is calling him _his_ pretty boy a little louder just so that she hears him. 

and maybe his stomach flips a little when seonghwa says that yeosang is his - but he can think about that later. 

because right now he’s being nagged at by seonghwa and san - begging him to please come to this party tonight - and all he can think about is whether or not he’s the party type. 

but his friends are begging him, and his idiot ‘boyfriend’ is looking at him with pouty lips and puppy eyes - and then seonghwa asks, “please come? for me?” with his stupid pretty eyes and soft voice and now yeosang _has_ to go, because how could he say no?

“fine,” he sighs, “i’ll go.”

san and wooyoung whoop at him. 

he turns to seonghwa. “you know you can’t just make me do whatever you want by being cute, right?” he asks, trying to at least sound a little bit annoyed, but his smile is definitely betraying him. 

“so you think i’m cute?” seonghwa teases. 

yeosang flicks his forehead. “of course i do, you’re my *boyfriend*” he teases right back. 

they both tease and flirt back at each other for the remainder of the lunch period, and it’s disgustingly cute. 

and if wooyoung and san can tell that their flirting is only half faked, they both say nothing. 

//

yeosang ends up walking home from school, seonghwa staying behind with hongjoong to rehearse something for their dance showcase, so he walks with wooyoung back to their house. 

he ignores wooyoung’s giggling when they leave the school, yeosang kissing seonghwa goodbye with a small “okay, love you, see you tonight.” before they walk off. 

“day one and you’re already saying ‘i love you’ huh?” wooyoung smiles. 

yeosang pouts. “shut up! it’s believable... and i guess it kinda slipped out?”

wooyoung just laughs. 

yeosang had barely realised that he’d even said ‘i love you’ earlier. he doesn’t know if he should be embarrassed or not. surely it’s okay? seonghwa is his ‘boyfriend’ so it seems normal, right? or was it too forward for a couple who haven’t even been together for 24 hours? 

“you’re overthinking.” wooyoung says. “i can hear it.”

yeosang sighs. 

“i’m just nervous. i don’t know how to do this! how do i act like we’re boyfriends? it’s weird.”

“you’re thinking about it too much, sangie. you don’t need to ‘act’ like you’re anything, just act the same way you would if he was actually your boyfriend! if you think too much about pretending then you’ll never get it right.” 

“i guess.” yeosang shrugs. “i guess it’s just strange being someone’s boyfriend but at the s ame time not being their boyfriend? it’s weird.”

“i get it.” wooyoung kicks a rock as they walk through their front gate. “can i ask a genuine question though?”

yeosang nods at him. 

“do you think you could end up liking him? for real?”

yeosang’s breath hitches. “maybe?”

“you’re cute together,” wooyoung smiles as he unlocks their door, “so if you do, i’m rooting for you.”

yeosang smiles at him. “thanks.” 

“now lets try and find you an outfit that’ll make seonghwa proud.”

// 

** _ [ now playing: boys will be boys by bülow ] _ **

getting ready for parties is too much fucking effort, yeosang thinks. but it could be worse - because at least he’s having fun while he gets ready, wooyoung bouncing on yeosang’s bed and singing to whatever song comes on their playlist next, spinning yeosang around every time he gets frustrated with what he’s wearing. 

“why is looking nice so hard!?” yeosang grumbles, throwing down another pile of clothes that he decides aren’t worth wearing. 

wooyoung looks at him from where he’s lying on yeosang’s bed, his head dangling off the edge. “you always look nice, idiot.”

“yeah, sure, but not nice enough for _seonghwa!!_” 

wooyoung chooses not to think about what that means. 

“okay,” he sighs, “do you trust me enough to let me dress you?” 

honestly, he doesn’t, but yeosang still nods and let’s wooyoung dress him up like a doll. 

//

maybe yeosang should trust wooyoung more, because he looks so fucking good tonight. 

he felt kinda stupid wearing something so oversized and baggy, but now that he sees himself, all black boots and sweater paws - he thinks he might dress like this more often. 

wooyoung looks great too, considerably more bright than yeosang but still wearing everything that could fit his frame perfectly and make him look like pure boyfriend material. 

when they’re both ready to go, they link arms and start the walk to the party. 

//

** _ [ now playing; you’re not good enough by blood orange ] _ **

wooyoung finds san as soon as they enter the house, yeosang assuring him that he’ll be fine on his own for a while until he find seonghwa. 

now the problem is finding seonghwa. the house is huge, there’s so many people, and yeosang knows none of them so far. so as he stands in the kitchen of this random house, he kind of thinks that finding seonghwa might be impossible. 

and then he hears someone whistle behind him. when he turns around seonghwa is staring at him, a wide grin on his face. 

yeosang suddenly feels extremely nervous. 

“seonghwa! hi...”

“hey.” seonghwa smiles. “i didn’t know my boyfriend was gonna show up looking so pretty tonight?”

yeosang’s nerves dissolve a little when seonghwa teases him, and he smiles at the taller boy in front of him. 

“well i had to look good if i’m showing up to a party with _the _park seonghwa.” 

“so this is for me?” seonghwa steps closer, yeosang leaning against the kitchen counter. he feels a little bit like he’s being trapped. he also doesn’t care. 

“maybe.” he giggles. “why? should i dress like this more often?”

seonghwa nods. “please do. you look cute.”

“i’ll try,” yeosang winks, “guess i gotta buy more clothes so that i’m not stealing wooyoung’s oversized shirts from now on.”

seonghwa laughs. “don’t even worry about it, you can take plenty of my shirts.” he pauses, then starts again. “you’d probably look even cuter wearing _my _oversized shirts.” he says and oh. 

for someone who’s his pretend boyfriend, seonghwa wanting to see yeosang in his clothes makes him feel something deep in his stomach. he thinks he kind of wants it too. 

their disgusting flirting is cut short by san yelling at them from behind seonghwa - obviously far too excited about yeosang’s new look. 

“look at you!!” he shrieks, his hand coming up to pinch yeosang’s cheeks before he can fight him off. “you look so cute!! not even, you look to _hot!_ what happened to my shy baby boy in his sweaters and his-“ 

san’s yelling fades out of yeosang’s brain when he catches seonghwa’s eye, something flashing on seonghwa’s face that yeosang can’t recognise, but he says nothing. 

and within seconds hongjoong is running in to yank everyone into the living room to play truth or dare. yeosang links hands with seonghwa as they walk. seonghwa’s hand holds him a little bit tighter. 

// 

** _ [now playing; twilight by ateez ] _ **

three stripteases, a broken tv and a spanked mingi later (don’t ask), yeosang and seonghwa move upstairs and head to hongjoong’s rooftop, blankets laid out and fairy lights sparkling. 

it’s nice. quiet, compared to the rest of the party inside. seonghwa sits on the swinging chair and holds his arm out, motioning for yeosang to lean into his side. yeosang does, and seonghwa is so warm and soft that he immediately sighs and sinks into him further. 

they’re both quiet for a while, just enjoying how the air outside is fresh and how the sound of the music inside the house seems miles away.

seonghwa speaks up. 

“we make a pretty believable couple.”

yeosang smiles. “yeah, we do. maybe a little too believable? you sure you’re not really falling for me?” he teases, and seonghwa’s laugh makes his heart feel warm. 

“in your dreams!” he says back, but he's laughing and shoving yeosang's arm and it's so annoying and endearing, and yeosang doesn't even have a reply, just huffs out a "sure, whatever, hwa." and snuggles back into seonghwa's side. 

they stay like that for a while. just sitting and listening to the party inside and watching the lights on the rooftop flicker. they don't move until yeosang yawns, and seonghwa mumbles a small, "hey, lets go home." into his ear - both of them heading to seonghwa's car and waving everyone goodbye. 

wooyoung shouts at yeosang to use protection. yeosang tells him to fuck off. 

//

yeosang thinks that maybe wooyoung knew something he didn't, because whenever he and seonghwa slide into his car, seonghwa asks, "can i kiss you?"

yeosang laughs because yeah, obviously, "you've kissed me before? of course?" but then seonghwa says "no like, really kiss you." and oh, yeosang gets it and he wants it. a lot.

so he says yes.

and seonghwa is on him within seconds.

the position they're in isn't the most comfortable, both of them leaning over awkwardly to reach each other, but neither of them seem to mind because all they can think about is how nice it feels to kiss like this.

in the back of yeosang's mind he thinks it might be dangerous to kiss like this with no 'real' feelings, but he pushes the thought away because all of a sudden he's in seonghwa's lap and he wasn't even aware that he had crawled over the seats into his lap in the first place, but he's here now and seonghwa is holding his hips while he kisses him and he thinks that kissing like this is really, really dangerous.

but he doesn't stop. doesn't think he could stop, even if he wanted to, not with how seonghwa's hands on his hips make him feel grounded and trapped, but in a way that he likes, the grip almost possessive and - oh. wait. shit.

the look on seonghwa's face when san was fawning over him. seonghwa wanting to see yeosang in his clothes. 

was he... jealous?

"hwa," yeosang pants, "not that i'm not enjoying this, because i definitely am oh my god but... are you being like this because you're jealous?"

seonghwa huffs. he hides his face in yeosang's neck - that's so fucking cute, yeosang thinks - and mumbles out "maybe?"

yeosang tries to form a sentence, but now seonghwa is kissing the junction of his neck where he's hiding his face and yeosang can't even think - but he calms himself and tries again. 

"why... ah- why are you jealous?"

"i know that we're not a real thing," seonghwa says into his neck, "but i'm still possessive, i guess. real or not real, you're my boyfriend, i can't help but feel kinda possessive over you." he mumbles and god, that's so cute and so fucking hot and yeosang cannot do this right now, he cannot fuck his fake boyfriend in said boyfriends car on their first day of dating. he can't.

but then seonghwa sucks a hickey into his neck and yeosang can't even remember what he was thinking about.

//

so they didn't fuck in the car. 

they did, however, make it back to yeosang's house where yeosang was bold enough to suck seonghwa off as soon as they got to his room, and then even bolder to let seonghwa mark his neck while yeosang spent the night grinding against his thigh.

yeosang is only a little ashamed.

if anything he's more afraid than ashamed - afraid of how much he enjoyed last night. because it wasn't the blowjob or the grinding that he enjoyed. it was the fact that he was doing those things with seonghwa, that's what he enjoyed.

he decides he'll deal with that later. right now he's hungry.

he slips out of his bed and leaves seonghwa buried in his blankets, throws on seonghwa's shirt from last night (he knows he'll like it), and heads downstairs to make cereal. wooyoung is already awake, sitting perched on the kitchen island eating his own breakfast.

if wooyoung sees his hickeys, he says nothing, and if he notices that yeosang is wearing seonghwa's shirt (maybe with a little too much pride) then he still says nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thx for reading!
> 
> find me on twitter; nsfw @gurohwa / sfw @_sehyoons


	3. me and you together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they're both so whipped and soyeon is a fuckin bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! there are currently two more chapters left eheheh
> 
> i hope y'all enjoy seeing yeosang give heart eyes at his bf bc thats all that happens this chapter lol

over the next two weeks, 'dating' seonghwa feels more and more comfortable as the days go on. yeosang feels any shame he might've felt from the letters dissolve, and they seem like such a distant memory that he barely remembers ever writing them let alone wooyoung sending them. and he sees that soyeon has finally started keeping her distance from seonghwa, and as a result seonghwa seems so much more calm and sure of himself now that she's barely around.

so things are going well. they're happy. and yeosang can't even pretend that he doesn't like the way he gets butterflies whenever seonghwa kisses him a little deeper than usual.

and, like right now, he can't pretend he doesn't love how comfortable his head feels as he rests it against seonghwa's thighs, both of them lying in the park beside yeosang's house. 

seonghwa's phone buzzes, and after a few seconds of him reading the text, he nudges his thigh against yeosang's head to get his attention.

"mmm?"

"hongjoong invited us to a pool party tomorrow, wanna go?"

yeosang sighs. "why do you even ask me if i wanna go to these parties when you know i'll say no and you know you'll drag me anyway?" he says, but there's no malice behind it really, and seonghwa can hear the smile in his voice. 

seonghwa laughs down at him. "when i started dating you i didn't think you'd have such an attitude. you ever thought about toning it down?" he jokes.

"sorry, you signed up to date me - bad attitude and terrible jokes included."

seonghwa can't argue back.

//

_ ** [ now playing: tattoos together by lauv ] ** _

yeosang doesn't know why he let seonghwa and san convince him that he needed a new hair colour, but for some reason he did, and now he's here - seonghwa mixing a bowl of colour in front of him while he has san wash the bleach out of his hair in the sink. wooyoung is just watching happily from his seat on the kitchen counter. 

"what if i don't suit it?" yeosang asks when seonghwa starts brushing the colour onto his hair. he's never really changed his hair much - always sticking to the same few shades of brown and blonde, and he's suddenly anxious about whether or not an unnatural colour will suit him.

"of course it'll suit you," seonghwa sighs, "anything would suit you."

he hears san and wooyoung make sounds of agreement from behind him. he shrugs and accepts his fate.

he sits back and lets seonghwa gently section his hair and paint on the colour, and maybe he blushes when seonghwa's face is so close to his as he leans down to focus on the front of his hair, and maybe he squeaks when seonghwa pauses his work to kiss yeosang on the nose - but if he does, mind your own business. 

//

he should trust his friends and his boyfriend more.

because fuck, he really suits this hair. 

his hair is now a dull pink, not too bright but just faded enough to make the colour less eye catching, just like yeosang had asked.

(although if you ask seonghwa, he'd say that no matter what colour yeosang puts on his hair he's still eye catching.)

but overall, he thinks he's happy with his hair.

he thinks he's even happier with how seonghwa lifts him up onto the kitchen counter and kisses him until he can't breathe after wooyoung and san leave the room. 

//

tonight they're going to a party, and yeosang is only a little bit worried about whether or not he's going to look good.

seonghwa has warned him in advance to not wear anything too nice, because lets be real, it's a pool party - and all of their friends are beings of pure evil who will throw each other into the pool. so he reasons that his outfit doesn't have to be the fanciest on account of the fact that he might end up head first in a pool.

yeosang ignores the pointed looks from wooyoung and san when he walks out wearing one of seonghwa's oversized shirts, "it's just a shirt that he doesn't wear anymore, so it's okay if it gets ruined!" he argues, but wooyoung sees right through him.

he's perched on the end of his bed watching seonghwa fuss over his necklaces. "i don't want one that'll choke me if one of you decides to drown me!" he whines when yeosang tells him to just pick one.

yeosang sighs and hops off the bed, grabbing a thin and kind of looser choker from his bedside table.

"here." he says, and then he stands on his toes to click the choker around seonghwa's neck.

it's nothing fancy, just a small chain choker that won't get in the way too much but that'll still allow some neck room, complete with a cute little star in the middle.

"just wear this and stop whining."

seonghwa nods and he smiles, pretending he doesn't notice the way seonghwa's blushing.

"but give it back! it's one of my favourites!"

//

_ ** [ now playing: me and you together song by the 1975 ] ** _

the pool outside of the party is huge, filled with floats and plastic balls that no doubt him and his group will be pelting each other with in a few hours. 

the atmosphere is nice, though. the night air isn't that cold and the pool is warmed up a little - so yeosang just sighs in relief when he sits next to jongo at the poolside and dips his feet in - seonghwa and hongjoong having disappeared somewhere to talk to some of the dance class and the rest of their group scattered around the garden. 

"so," jongho starts, "tell me about you and seonghwa!! you haven't told us much yet." he pouts, and yeosang giggles at him and sighs. 

"is there much to tell? we just kinda... fell into a relationship and i guess neither of us expected that we'd fit this well, but i think we do."

"you're both cute together. you seem happier with him."

"yeah, i think i am." yeosang says and honestly, he really does. he knows that he's perked up and become brighter since seonghwa popped into his life, his confidence growing the more time they spend together. 

he doesn't think about how that might be dangerous for a relationship that's secretly fake. chooses not to for the sake of his own sanity. 

//

after spending far too long speaking to a group of dancers about their showcase, seonghwa needs air, so he steps outside onto the front porch of the house where he knows there'll be less people.

except of course, his luck betrays him. because there's only one other person out there, but that person is fucking soyeon.

"hi, hwa."

"hi."

"you and yeosang? really?"

seonghwa growls. "yes, really. and what?"

"nothing," soyeon laughs, "he just doesn't seem like your type, is all."

"and what's my type? bossy and mean? uncaring and controlling?"

"i was going to say hot, but okay."

seonghwa feels himself go red at the idea of soyeon implying that yeosang is anything less than attractive.

she takes a step around him and hums, tone obviously mocking when she sees the choker around his neck. before he can tell her to stop fucking looking, she unclips it.

"soyeon, give me that. it's yeosang's."

"i know," she smiles, "i think i'll borrow it for a while." she says, and then stalks off, obviously far too proud of herself.

seonghwa growls and storms his way back downstairs. 

//

yeosang has almost forgotten how long seonghwa's been away, too busy cackling at how aggressively hongjoong is resisting a dip in the pool. he can't say he blames him, but he's too amused by the yelling and running to bother defending him.

so whenever yunho finally manages to grab him, yeosang doesn't really feel that guilty as he jumps up and helps him shove hongjoong into the water.

yeosang sees mingi out of the corner of his eye, sees the way he licks his lips when he sees hongjoong's sheer shirt end up even more see through from the water. yeosang thinks he could do him a favour.

"mingi's turn!!" he yells, and before mingi can run yeosang is already on one arm and jongho is on the other, and they both share a high five when yunho all but kicks mingi into the water with hongjoong.

he almost misses the look they give each other.

kind of like the look seonghwa gives him.

"yeosang!!"

he turns around and there he is, seonghwa coming towards him with his jacket on his arm. "wanna get out of here?" he asks, and yeosang is honestly having fun, but seonghwa looks less than comfortable right now so he nods yes, gives the rest of the group a quick wave goodbye and follows seonghwa back to his car. 

he doesn't notice the missing choker or seonghwa's tight grip on him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u sm for reading !!!


	4. i wish i'd never met you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sad times ahead :) 
> 
> soyeon wants to ruin everything and poor yeosang is upset

if he's being honest, yeosang doesn't like the school trips. at all.

but seonghwa begged him to go - big puppy eyes and dumb pout and a soft, "please, pretty please for me sangie?" with his head nuzzled in yeosang's neck so of course he's going.

their whole group sits together closer to the back of the bus, hongjoong and mingi paired together, jongho and yunho together, san and wooyoung obviously together while he sits with seonghwa. the entire ride isn't the most eventful thing, a couple of bus selfies taken at the start of the journey before yeosang ends up drifting off and napping for the entirety of the bus ride.

when they arrive and hike up to their spot, yeosang can feel soyeon's eyes on him while he and seonghwa struggle with their tent. sure they're struggling, but they're both laughing and annoying each other, and yeosang thinks that she's just mad that seonghwa is happy.

and whenever the entire camp is set up, yeosang sees her glaring at them while they set up the fire, and so he thinks nothing of it when seonghwa decides to go sit in their sent for a while, obviously uncomfortable with the eyes on them both.

//

the campfire is warm, and the way yeosang sees his friends and classmates laughing and scaring each other around it makes him feel even warmer. he wishes seonghwa were out with them, but last he checked the jealous looks and hushed insults were making him anxious and he just wanted to stay in the tent, so yeosang left him and made him promise to come get him if he needed him. 

but for now he's having fun, music blaring from the crappy portable radio that felix brought and everyone dancing and giggling around the fire. he isn't sure he really wants to dance, but then chan yanks him up anyways and he ends up sandwiched in a group with felix, chan, lucas and markwho are all yelling the worst rendition of sweet caroline that he's ever heard. but he's having fun.

he doesn't even notice soyeon slip off into the woods with someone who looks like seonghwa. nor does he notice both of them coming back, seonghwa looking furious and soyeon growling under her breath.

//

with the bus ride to the site being uneventful, the ride home is equally as boring until the bus stops at the school and everyone starts getting off.

because suddenly everyone's phones are going off, photos being sent around each phone that have everyone squealing and laughing. 

and it's all because of him. 

when he opens his own message, the same as everyone elses, he kind of wants to be sick. because that's seonghwa. seonghwa leaning against a tree, wearing yesterdays outfit in the forest they were just at while soyeon stands in front of him. 

it doesn't look great.

and then soyeon herself bounces past him.

"wow sangie, you should keep a tighter leash on your boyfriend." she laughs, running her hands along her choker and -

_that's yeosang's choker._ he wants to throw up.

he looks up and his eyes meet seonghwa's, who's running up to him and already stuttering out an apology.

"yeosang, i-"

"what the _fuck_, seonghwa?"

"i know it looks bad but i promise, we weren't doing anything and-"

"i don't care what you were and weren't doing," yeosang says, annoyed at the crack in his voice making it obvious how upset he is. "you were with her, when you told me you felt too anxious to spend time with us all, but you were sneaking around with your ex?"

"i-"

"am i just... a joke to you?"

yeosang pretends he doesn't see the hurt on seonghwa's face.

"yeosang, no."

"i know that this boyfriend thing was never real and we were bound to end it eventually, but am i really that... disposable that you can't even wait until our fake relationship is over before you go back to her?"

yeosang's definitely crying now, and seonghwa hates it and that much is obvious on his face, and he can vaguely hear wooyoung rushing over to him to make sure he's okay while san and hongjoong yell at everyone to delete the photo immediately.

if yeosang wasn't so hurt he'd feel so warm at the way his friends are looking after him.

"yeosang, please just let me drive you home and explain."

"no. i'd rather walk." yeosang growls, "this whole boyfriend thing is over." and then he's gone.

wooyoung doesn't say much, just gives seonghwa a stare and asks, "hwa, what the fuck?" before he runs after yeosang and walks back home with him.

//

the walk home is silent, and yeosang asks wooyoung to not talk to him for a bit as soon as they're in the door, both of them greeting their mom before yeosang runs upstairs and locks himself in his room.

he feels so fucking stupid. 

did he really think that a fake relationship would turn into something real? that seonghwa would suddenly end up with someone like him?

he doesn't talk to anyone that night. the most he does is thank wooyoung when he brings him some noodles from dinner.

his phone keeps buzzing.

_ **from:** loml hwa _

[6:15] sangie please

[6:15] can you listen to me?

[6:15] i know it looks awful and that's on me but

[6:15] please let me talk to you?

[7:00] please call me?

[8:00] okay. i'm sorry.

//

yeosang pretends that he's fine at school the next day. he goes back to talking to wooyoung and joking with san and bullying jongho, ignoring seonghwa through the entire day.

until lunch.

when he sees everyone crowding around his locker and giggling, and he pushes everyone out of the way and oh. of course. of fucking course.

that's _him_. 

that's him and seonghwa. in seonghwa's car. on seonghwa's lap. with his tongue down seonghwa's throat.

he wants to die.

he doesn't even think when he storms off, heading straight for the doors outside.

seonghwa stops him.

"_don't_," yeosang growls, "you know who took those, you know who posted them. go fix it and don't speak to me. i don't wanna hear your excuses." he says, and storms out through the double doors of the school.

//

he heads to the park, because of course he does. it's the place that always makes him feel happiest, the best memories he has being in here - whether it's when he broke wooyoung's nose, or having snowball fights when they were both little, or laying in the afternoon sun with... seonghwa.

_ **from:** bastard boy woo _

[1:05] sangie???

[1:05] where r u ?? 

[1:05] wna make sure ur ok :(

**_to:_** _bastard boy woo_

[1:03] park 

[1:03] at the swing-set

_**from:**_ _bastard boy woo_

[1:04] omw 

//

wooyoung finds him right where he said, hunched over on the swing-set staring down at his feet.

he sits down on the swing next to him and holds his hand out. yeosang takes it.

"you okay, sangie?"

yeosang sniffs.

"why was i so dumb, wooyoung? was it stupid of me to think that we might actually work?"

"of course not. you two went well together. i thought he liked you."

there's silence for a second.

"i'm sorry." wooyoung mumbles.

"for what?

"i sent the letters, didn't i? i sent them, and seonghwa got his, and because of that stupid letter you two started this thing and i just. feel like if i'd kept the letters private and not meddled then you wouldn't be so sad right now."

yeosang squeezes his hand.

"honestly... i think i'm glad you did. i'm sad now and this all hurts so bad but these last three weeks were like, the happiest i've been in a while! i had more fun than i normally do. so at least something good came out of it."

"i like seeing you that happy."

yeosang laughs.

"really, i do! you've been my best friend for so long and now you're technically my brother? of course i want you to be happy! if i could just... scoop up everything that you're feeling right now and take it all myself i would if it'd make you laugh again."

"you're such a sappy fuck, woo." yeosang says, but he's crying and squeezing wooyoung's hand nonetheless.

wooyoung laughs at him, so soft and fond.

"c'mon, lets just go home."

yeosang nods and they start the walk home.

//

** _ [ now playing; i wish i never met you by oh wonder ] _ **

that evening, san comes over before he and wooyoung go to the schools showcase, and wooyoung makes a point of avoiding any coupley stuff while they're around yeosang. 

yeosang is really thankful, even if he doesn't show it.

he doesn't notice either of them standing in his doorway watching them - his headphones on full blast blaring music loud enough to drown out everything.

"he's cleaning his room." wooyoung observes.

"he must feel really bad, then." san whispers.

"should we... bring him with us?" 

"normally i'd say yes, because he really needs out, but i don't know if watching seonghwa perform is a good idea right now."

"i guess. should we ask and see?"

san nods, figuring it can't hurt. wooyoung knocks on the door loud enough to get yeosang's attention over the music in his ears.

"yeah?"

"i know the answer will probably be no," wooyoung starts, san speaking up next, "but we're going to the school showcase tonight to watch hongjoong and seonghwa perform and see jongho. do you wanna come? if not that's cool, i know you-"

"sure."

"huh?"

"i'll go. it can't be too bad, right?"

//

_ ** [ now playing; tootimetootimetootime by the 1975 ] ** _

as it turns out, it is kinda bad. 

watching seonghwa perform to some upbeat song and having to clap along as if he's not crumbling is kinda shit, honestly. 

but he wants to be normal. wants to pretend that seonghwa isn't the only thing on his mind and that he hasn't cried over him too many times in these last two days. 

he lets san and wooyoung go backstage to congratulate him after the show, opting to head outside and wait in the courtyard.

the air is chill and calm, and yeosang lets himself close his eyes and lean back against the stone wall outside the school. 

he just breathes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading!


	5. twilight..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things are ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!!! this is the last chapter?!?!!?!?!?!
> 
> everything is ok in this chapter i promise :) i felt so bad making yeosang sad last chapter oh my god

the next morning, san comes bounding into yeosang's room to wake him up.

(in reality it's 1pm, but to them it might as well be morning.)

"mmmnmnnmn, san, what?"

"yeosang, you need to talk to seonghwa!"

"ugh, no. i don't want to."

"no," wooyoung shouts in from the hall, "you _need_ to!"

"it wasn't him," san says, "it was all soyeon."

yeosang sits up. 

"what?"

"the picture of her and seonghwa?" san asks.

yeosang nods.

"that was him telling her to leave. for good. he told her to leave you both alone and to stop meddling."

yeosang can't breathe all of a sudden. he only feels a little relieved. 

"but the photo of us...?"

"you already know she posted it, but oh my god yeosang, seonghwa was ready to kill!"

"really?"

"yes!" san yells, "last night we watched him storm up to her and demand that she never speak to either of you again!!"

"what did he say?" yeosang asks, and he doesn't know what he's hoping to hear.

"he told her to stop trying to mess with the person he likes the most. he said she can't keep trying to get in the way just because he loves someone that isn't her."

yeosang's breath catches. he tightens his hold on wooyoung and san's hands (he didn't even realise they were holding hands at all) and takes a deep breath.

"and that's..."

"_you_, yeosang."

fuck. 

"i need to talk to him."

"do you need us?"

yeosang shakes his head.

"you two have a party to get ready for tonight. i need to talk to hwa alone."

//

_ **to:** loml hwa _

[2:00] hwa?

[2:00] can you please meet me at the park?

_ **from:** loml hwa _

[2:02] of course 

[2:02] are you okay? is something wrong? did something happen?

_ **to:** loml hwa _

[2:03] nonono i'm fine 

[2:03] i think

[2:04] i just need to talk to you

_ **from:** loml hwa _

[2:04] be there in 5

//

the first thing yeosang does when he sees seonghwa is hug him.

"...sangie?"

"hwa," yeosang mumbles as he grips him tighter, "i'm sorry i didn't listen to you i should've let you explain, but i was too upset and insecure and i didn't think you liked me the way i like you and i-"

yeosang shuts up when seonghwa kisses him.

and fuck did he miss that. he really missed that - missed the way seonghwa's lips were always so soft and the way he can feel seonghwa's little sharp teeth (he affectionately calls them fangs) whenever he smiles into the kiss and he just missed kissing _seonghwa_.

"it's okay, sangie." he says once they pull away. "it was stupid of me to even think that talking to soyeon alone was a good idea. i know her. i should've known she'd pull something."

they both just kind of. cling to each other for a bit. 

"yeosang?"

"yeah?"

"you said you like me."

"yeah."

"really?"

"of course, you idiot. i wouldn't be this upset if i wasn't fucking _in love_ with you."

seonghwa laughs and picks yeosang up, spinning him around in a hug that kind of makes yeosang's heart stop. neither of them say anything, both of them giving each other a look that just says "lets go home."

so they do.

they start the walk to yeosang's house hand in hand.

"oh," seonghwa says, "i'm in love with you too, by the way."

//

as expected, san and wooyoung are all over the both of them when they get back to yeosang's house. yeosang pretends he's not embarrassed when wooyoung pulls seonghwa into a hug and says "thanks for caring for him, hwa."

"does this mean we can all go to the party tonight?" san pipes up, and everyone laughs becuase it's such a san thing to only care about partying at a time like this.

yeosang and seonghwa share a look, and at the same time say "_duh!!_" and that's that.

//

everyone is so fucking happy. everyone is so happy to see yeosang and seonghwa together, so happy to see them both walk in hand in hand again and clinging to each other like they'd been away from each other for years.

seonghwa is happy. happy he's forgiven and fixed his idiot mistakes and gets to finally call yeosang his boyfriend for real - gets to call this tiny, funny, fierce and beautiful boy his boyfriend.

yeosang is happy. happy that his dumb letters worked out and happy that the prettiest boy in the whole world is in love with him and is here, arm around his waist and a smile on his face.

the party dies down and both boys end up back on hongjoong's rooftop, laying on the blanket pile spread out so that they can both stare at the sky. everything is quiet, and seonghwa is so, so warm where he has yeosang cuddled into his side. 

they both feel so at home, out here on hongjoong's roof, holding each other while they know that inside their friends are all doing the same thing with each other - because lets be real, they're all hopeless romantics. 

and as if the thought summons them - their group come through the door to the roof and arrange themselves in one massive cuddle pile in the blankets.

and now everything's perfect.

yeosang is here, lying with his fucking beautiful boyfriend, surrounded by his best friends in the whole world while they all snuggle together and laugh at each others dumb jokes. every time seonghwa gets a little bit sappy with yeosang, wooyoung gags at them. yeosang doesn't even mind - just happy to be alive in this moment.

"i love you." yeosang whispers to seonghwa.

"i love you." seonghwa whispers back.

"you two are so fucking gross."

** _[ now playing; twilight by ateez ]_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading this!! i know that my writing style is kinda hard to get into and i know that this au was super short in comparison to the actual movie - but im rly thankful that ppl enjoyed this!!!
> 
> find me on twitter! my nsfw is @gurohwa and my sfw is @_sehyoons !! come talk to me and request fics!!!

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!!!
> 
> if u wanna come party follow me on twitter! nsfw: @gurohwa / sfw: @_vibekiIIer


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